Scratch-Offs

Hmm...I wonder what numba that Break the Bank scratch-off ticket be on. Probably dey done sold all the winners already. Look like Miss Redhead gone buy all of 'em noways.

"Could I get the rest of those Break the Banks, please. Thanks"

Dang, lady, get out the way so I can buy my winners, please, shoo. Oh, I'm sho glad that nice register lady is here today. I thank that the owner's daughter. She remind me of my own lil' gal, Chaleene. Oh Chaleene, if she can see me now. Her ol' pops wastin' his Social Security check on some scratch-offs. Well, if I ain't gonna lose it here, I'ma lose it on the boat over in w'ouisiana. Or on some tv dinners at the sto'. And I always gotta buy me some honey buns for dessert. Maybe I buy me some new razors today. This ol' salt and pepper scene on my face gettin tired.

Only two more people left in front o' me. My poor black, ashy legs can't stand this standing! Let's look over dese winnas I already done scratched off. Two dollars on Coyote Cash....five dolla's on Bingo (man, dat Bingo sho is fun...which reminds me that I gotta tell Zoo I ain't goin to the Bingo tourney this weekend..ooh-wee he sho gone put up a fuss.)

What's this? Awe, why can't people have the right amount of money in dey pockets before they buy something. Who this fool thank he be? Lookin on the floor for some stray change. Oh alright, the regista gal gone let him slide this time. Man, I would told that fool to leave his driver's license and a slap in the face...and tell him to better his manners straight befo he come in dis sto' again. Alright, just one more customa.

Dang, Mrs. Wally from the funeral home. I dint even recognize her from behind. Surprising cause that sho is a big behind..hahaha...some thick hamhocks, I tell ya what! Oh, lord, forgive me. I know, I just know, she gone buy all the winners up now. She always seem to muster to buy at least a hundred dolla worth a tickets. Ooooh, her living room must be scattered with the scratch card shavings...they probably get mixed up in the ashes urns of those cremated folks, sho nuff. If I done known Mrs. Wally was in front of me I woulda brought my sitting chair in line and maybe a beer.

That reminds me of what I gotta do befo my fishin trip this weekend which is why I gotta tell Zoo I can't make it to no silly Bingo tourney. Skeet done already bought the bait and extra fishin line. Just left me with the beer and sandwiches. Now what kinda sandwiches we ate last time? Was it Spam..? Or maybe liverwurst. Hell, if I know. I just bring bologna and mustard this time.

Finally, that Mrs. Thick Hamhocks done finally got all her tickets. I hope she don't win nothing. Always flaunting her money in front of everyone's noses. With all them fancy jewels she be wearin to church ever'eh Sunday and them big toes stuck in her shiney Mizrahi heels. Only reason I know its Mizrahi cause Chaleene done told me. Dat just aint somethin an ol' black man should know.

"Hi, Mr. Sam. What can I get for ya today?"

I squint my eyes cause I can't barely see the names on the tickets but my blood sho is bubbling to start scratchin something good. I better buy some extra so I can scratch on the boat this weekend when I go fishin.