Kari's Wedding

"So are you going to be free on Saturday?"

I shifted my cell phone to the other ear and scanned the mental calendar in my head which was pointless because I knew I had nothing scheduled for that day or any other day before or after for that matter.

"I dunno. I guess not. Why?" I asked Maurice quite apathetically. I had had a long day and wasn't feeling social at the moment.

"Well, you remember Kari? Petite Kari from high school? She was a year ahead of us."

I sighed and scanned my brain. It had been about six years since high school but it was still fresh on my mind but I didn't want Maurice to know that.

"Come on, Annie. Cambodian chick. Big boobs."

I giggled. "Yea, I remember her. She getting hitched or something?"

"Yup. Snatched herself a cowboy. So you wana go with me to the wedding?"

"I dunno. I haven't seen any of those people in a while and you know how I get around them. Its sorta weird. Saying things you seem to be saying over and over again and people seem to buy it as real conversation."

"It's up to you. I don't care if you go or not."

"Well, that's nice, asshole. Maybe I shouldn't."

"You know what I mean. I'm sure people will ask about you if you don't go."

By the end of our conversation, I had accepted the invitation but sternly decided that it wasn't necessary to get her a gift since I wasn't directly invited. But I would make sure Maurice put my name on the card. That's just good ettiquette.

****************************************************************************

Is it just me or do we put ourselves in these awkard situations just to torture ourselves because we have nothing else better to do. Most of the guests that would be at the wedding would be distant friends from the past, ghosts that I hadn't seen in awhile. Some maybe last year...some I hadn't seen since high school graduation. And especially at this stage of our lives where we're supposed to be building up our grown-up lives, we all seem to be talking with static in the background. Not knowing exactly what we're trying to say but trying to fool the other person into thinking we are the masters of our lives and knows exactly where we're steering our ship when in reality our compasses are bouncing all around. I'm not an anti-social. I just don't know if these are the people that I can completely be myself around. In a way, they scare me but I guess everyone has that feeling when confronting social situations like this. Right? Or does the cheese stand alone? Who knows.

*********************************************************************************

The wedding wasn't till five so I had all day to lounge around and do nothing which was lovely as I had taken the entire day off from work. But it started worrying me when I saw the grey clouds roll in.

Maurice was late as he rolled into my driveway. I hurried into his car and he blamed me for living so far away and on the other side of the tracks literally. "The damn train took forever to go by. Then it stopped, rolled backwards and then took forever to finish. Dammit."

He had a way of making things my fault when I had no control over the situation whatsoever. He was an asshole that way and I knew there was nothing I could do about it other then harbor asshole opinions of him and he knew that so it was fine. I rolled my eyes at him and headed for the church when the storm burst all around us.

******************************************************************************

"Where the fuck are we supposed to go in at?"

The church was a huge ancient looking thing and so since I wasn't familiar with churches (being Buddhist and all) I assumed it was just at the front door.

But Maurice being the staunch Christian treated me like the ignorant pagan that I was. "No, this church is huge and they lock most of their doors. Dammit." He kept circling the church and I had no idea what we were supposed to do as the rain poured all round us. There was another car that we saw pull into the church parking and we watched. A black woman, quite elderly in a a royal purple dress stepped out with a black umbrella. We watched as she tried the three doors at the front of the church but they were all locked. I felt so bad for her as her dress, hair, and everything were getting wet. All of a sudden we saw a man open a door from the side and wave us all in.

*************************************************************************

We walked in, late and wet. A woman at the door who was passing out the wedding programs shushed us as we shook off our wet clothes. she looked like a huge lilypad in this frilly green frock that made it look like she had no arms. She hurried us to our seats and our hearts broke as we realized that we had walked in right at the end of the ceremony.

The white haired minister spread his hands. "I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Maurice mumbled under his breath. "........fuckin train."

**************************************************************************
"Hey your sister is here. She was here on time. Why didn't we go with her?"

I pointed to Maurice's sister, Lynda. He shook his head. "Why would I want to come with them I don't even like them."

I went to say hi to Lynda and she grabbed my shoulder.

"Does this mean you and Maurice are back together?"

I laughed and shook my head. "No no no no no no, we just come to these things together. It makes him look good to have a date and I get free food. Everyone wins."

**************************************************************************

"So what are you doing now, Annie?"

"I'm helping my mom at our store. Just taking a break really."

"Annie, I haven't seen you in so long! What are you doing now?"

"Well, I'm trying to keep up with my writing. So I'm going back to school in the fall."

"Well, if it isn't Miss Annie. Do you have a corner office yet?"

"Not exactly. Gonna go back to school next month. Can't get enough of the classroom, I guess."

"Annie, I hear you're trying to be a writer? That's gonna be tough."

"Yea gonna take classes in the fall. I'm keeping my fingers crossed."

I got a change to hide in the bathroom for a few minutes. THe ceremoney, i was told, had only lasted fifteen minutes and we had walked in at the final two. Kari has told everyone to come early and that the ceremony would be quick. Maurice nor I had been given that notice. Now was that limbo stage where everyone waits for the reception which was a long two hours away. Some lucky souls slyly stepped out of the church and said their goodbyes until the reception. I was stuck since Maurice was taking this chance to catch up with old friends. I should be doing the same thing but my skin felt so uncomfortable. Maybe it was the rain...maybe it was something else.

I was starving and the reception was too far away. I popped a few peanut M&M's I had smuggled in my purse and fixed myself up. Be brave. These people won't bite.

After leaving the restroom I had a few more conversations with different faces yet the same questions. There were so many times when I wanted to answer someone who had asked what I was up to, "Yea, I've become a professional prostitute down on 6th and Cambria St. You know that corner? Yes, it gets really busy on Fridays. Oh my pimp lets me off on special occasions like this but I have to make it up with at least two times as many tricks tomorrow and that's gonna be hard on Sundays...you know people have church on their minds...but I have my tricks to take their minds off that sermon. AMEN!" If only...if only...

*****************************************************************************

The reception was at a nice fancy hotel but I was disappointed when I saw alcohol was served through a cash bar and I had only brought thirteen dollars. I started off with a Bacardi Coke with three cherries. Wait a minute. There's no alcohol content in cherries. What a waste of volume.

Maurice had chastised again in the car on the way to the reception that I was being anti-social and rude. I shot back that I shouldn't be here and these people freak me out and they make me feel like a shadow of myself. He said that I was being ridiculous and these people only want to talk to me and get to know me and that's all and that I was putting too much pressure on myself. I told him that it all felt fake and I didn't like the way I am around these people. There are just some people that bring out the best in you and shine because you can't help it because they see you for you. But then there are people like these people who make me feel as if I'm made of glass and that they see through me and it's polorizing. We drove in silence for the rest of the ride until the hotel banner hung above us.

***********************************************************************************

Dinner was chicken fried steak, mashed sweet potatoes, and green beans. True country fare. There was also line dancing so I spent most of my time in my chair. I had a good time sitting next to the five year old who was the son of the maid of honor. He told me how ketchup was made out of watermelons and that he had to dance with the bridesmaid who had braces.

************************************************************************************

It was nearing the end of the night and time to catch the bouquet. I sat in the shadows hoping no one would find me but of course the group of giggling girls I was sitting with dragged me to the floor. Thinking the bride would through the bouquet directly to the bridesmaids in the front, I lingered in the back waiting for the DJ to hurry up and count to three.

And then I watched this little petite Asian bride throw a first-down launch as if the bouquet of roses were a pigskin. The flowers were coming right towards me and my mind was already trying to decide---do I move out of the way...do I push this girl beside me in front of the projectile florels....or do I, me with the natural super-glue grip catch this prophetic symbol of matrimony? Of course my spastic self chooses the latter and I am left standing there...as the cheese usually does...alone with a handful of flowers. I am swarmed by giggling females ecstatic even though I don't know why.

A girl with a sweeping french twist and a huge smile gabs, "And see you didn't even want to get up there!! Now look! You're a bride!"

I gave a disingenuine smile and walked back to the table. Maurice knew I wasn't happy with the proceedings that had just taken place. We said our goodbyes, clapped for the line dance that had just finished and went home.