Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Lifelong Struggle for Haiku

(Attempt #1 [Ambiguous kigo, overdone theme])

Rain of tomorrow
Erases tears of today
When will I move on?

(Attempt #2 [Lacks kigo. Good attempt])

Waking from slumber
The sun shines brightly outside
No light in my room

(Attempt #3 [Kigo relative to U.S., first line needs adjustment, change "watch" Ln.2, onomatapeia?])

Popcorn, sticky sweet
Perfect time for Oscar watch
Shh, movie begins

(Attepmt #4 [No kigo. Weak second line])

Get out of my head
And on to the blank paper
Words, my friend, my foe

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